Battling self image issues while empowering women to love themselves. . .
Yes I actually got told that I "would be 70% more attractive if. . . ." I figure its been a while since I just opened up and got real with you ladies so I chose today to bear it all with a blog post about my personal insecurities with my own physical appearance. If you want to know what it is I personally struggle with liking about myself then keep reading and you'll see not only the body parts I struggle with loving but also know the story behind the reason why.
"Did my friends think I was ugly? Was this why no guy had shown interest in me yet? Was I unattractive? "
So it really all started back when I was about 17 years old and went to the orthodontist. You see my mouth has been through NUMEROUS surgeries and oral procedures to get it fixed and even still now years later it has shifted so much since those procedures that it's not even visible to some that I had anything done. 16 stitches, twice. A total of 10 teeth pulled from my mouth through the years because I had way too many and such a small mouth. So already my mouth made me insecure and still does sometimes to this day. The real story here isn't about my teeth, but about my chin.
I remember sitting in the chair with the orthodontist in the room telling me that If I went and got a jaw surgery done I would be 70% more attractive. Have an easier time eating, and I wouldn't look like I didn't have a chin anymore. He went on to say that I would have to have my jaw wired shut while it healed and would possibly lose all taste in my tongue. In that instant my self image changed.
NOW. . . Let me tell you that at the time I had NEVER noticed that I didn't have much of a chin, I didn't feel bothered by my jaw. . .and it had never affected my self image before. I didn't want to lose taste. . .that freaked me out so i declined and went home. . .but little did i realize how much what this man said would change how I looked at myself.
I went from a girl who smiled and didn't care about what she looked like because it was ME.
To a girl who questioned her outfits and spent that winter wearing a turtleneck sweater because i felt self conscious. Did my friends think I was ugly? Was this why no guy had shown interest in me yet? Was I unattractive? Could I stand living without tasting food for the rest of my life?
Years passed and I wore that insecurity on my sleeve. Sharing it with those who were close to me. My best friend (also now my husband) used to call me his "little no chin" and his nickname helped me to see that even as I was, he still loved spending time with me. He adored me enough to eventually propose and now we've been married for almost 8 years.
The thing that still bothers me the most is the fact that this occurred in LITERALLY one discussion. Within maybe 15 minutes of time something someone said about my appearance has caused me to constantly reevaluate how i stand, how I smile, and how I pose for every single photo.
Often times we neglect to see the power in our words. In one moment you can flippantly say something and your words can change their self image for the rest of their life.
That is why empowerment and encouragement mean so much to me in this business.
If negative words are so strong. . . then how much stronger are the positive ones?
Every time I photograph a woman I send a questionnaire over the day before her session. I get to hear what her insecurities are, what she feels the least confident about and every time I am left feeling this hope.
That maybe some how I can help her to see herself as beautiful through that session.
Maybe somehow I will be her boost that she needs to love her self past her normal range.
Our positive words have power too, we just need to use them more than the negative ones.
What did someone tell you made you less than?
What can you remember hearing as an impressionable teen that made you question yourself and your worth?
Because I call bull shit.
You are beautiful just the way you are.
Mom to 3
This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies.Opt Out of Cookies