Something I have really been struggling with lately is the feeling of competition. I feel drained when an opportunity arises in which I have to prove myself better or worth it to someone else. ESPECIALLY when the thing holding me back from doing something is the fact that I have a family I am committed to.
I am working on figuring out exactly what my place is in the world because I will be honest right now I have no idea where I belong and I don't really know how to even figure it out.
I have always thrived in solitude. . . when things get quiet I get the feeling of becoming more myself.
I have always wanted to make a living encouraging women, that's why I am still waiting tables. . . I will be honest my heart is really big for the young girls that walk into the doors of the restaurant industry that have NO clue about life in general. . . because I was in their shoes at one point in my life.
I tried for a long time to get into management and I genuinely think my time trying for that is over. Yesterday I realized that in order to do that job. . . I would in fact have to give up a lot of time with my kids and my spouse. . . and that is just NOT OK with me. While I was really upset about this yesterday today I realize that my workplace actually values me. . .the REAL me. They see my heart. my passion and my joy that I pour out on everyone at work and they don't want me to lose that. So really . . . It's bittersweet because I am refocusing my passions.
So this calls for complete and total refresh
IF I want to make a living encouraging women, then so be it. . .
IT IS going to happen. That is what I am going to do.
If you have any ideas you want to share please let me know!
I'm going to recreate my life and I'm going to encourage women along the way.
Photos of my little family that I'm NOT willing to give up for a big corporate job.
Mom to 3
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